Tuesday, July 16, 2013


And then I heard the classic call back to HQ ' Hope you've got the Lawyers in. Went effin, mental she did and slammed the door in me face.' Something about a screwdriver (!) then 'Yeah there all complainin, not being able to get their cars in and out of their drives.' They are utilitying the new builds up the road & also rather niftily erected barriers & dug the trench leaving everyone's recycling on the unobtainable side. Nice! What they also probably didn't realise was the builders had scraped & knocked several cars (including someone's precious Jag) over the months & demolished the neighbours two Victorian gate pillars ( now replaced) . We should all play a drinking game everytime the claxon of a reversing vehicle is followed by a crunch then loud cries of 'Woah' followed by profuse swearing!



Friday, June 15, 2012

Infinite Monkey



A remarkable tale part the first, associative evidence of which may be discovered upon purchasing, as if by lottery, one of the creators Artworks available this very weekend at the Hamburg Art Vending Machine...  

Infinite Monkey

Information given herein is related in good faith, drawn from the original Ships Log and the personal diary of Captain Sibuna himself.


On the 17th 1810 Captain Sibuna stood on the deck of HMS Pyramid. It was exactly 11.59pm as noted In the Ships Log. The unsettling stillness of the ocean was Indistinguishable from the sky above, there was no horizon, no wind, no movement only an grey stultifying huggamugga of mist. The world could be upended and no one would be any the wiser. He still found it uncanny yet oddly comforting to be swaddled in this primal fog.As this thought crossed his mind the fog melted from the becalmed ship. Every movement rustled the braid on his uniform. At midnight he was about to raise his spyglass when an extraordinary display of lights appeared in the Eastern sky, they span and turned and danced, seven lights in perfect co ordination moving quickly towards the West then .....


Seek the further adventure at a later date at heathertweed.co.uk




Friday, April 27, 2012


Comedy Sock duo announce two new shows and tour dates

Hot footed from a successful month long run at the Adelaide Fringe Festival in Australia, The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre have just embarked on a pre Edinburgh Fringe Festival tour of the UK.The brand new preview show will be unveiled for the first time at The Brighton Fringe. Entitled Boo Lingerie – A Socky Horror Show The Comedy Sock duo plan to entertain and quite possibly scare audiences with their particular brand of chaotic humour that includes sketches, songs and much audience interaction.

Producer Kev Sutherland is also excited about another new venture, this time into the world of Family friendly shows. One of the top venues at at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, The Gilded Balloon, have invited him to write a new show, one that will be suitable for all ages.

"When I was doing excerpts from the shows on an outdoor stage in The Garden of Unearthly Delights in Adelaide I realised the kids loved the stuff I was doing as much as the grownups and they responded to The Socks on a similar level. Sharon from The Gilded Balloon also saw the potential for a different audience and invited me to write a brand new morning show for the Edinburgh Fringe this year. Obviously without the sweary words! but there should be enough layers of humour for everyone to enjoy."

Boo Lingerie - A Socky Horror Show launches at Komedia in Brighton on the 19th and 20th May.

Other dates include those below and more information can be found at http://www.myspace.com/scottishfalsetto and a selection of their popular videos http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=E16B78DAB5EAC98E


Fri 27th April

The Lemon Tree


Thu 3rd May

Square Chapel Centre


Fri 4th May

Exchange Arts Centre


Sat 5th May

Gatehouse Theatre


Sat 12th May

Chorley Little Theatre


Sat 19th May, Sun 20th May



Sun 27th May

The Courtyard Centre For The Arts


Thu 28th June, Fri 29th June

Double Bill, Ali Cook, The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

Harrogate Theatre


Mon 9th July

Rondo Theatre


Fri 13th July

Beverly Puppet Festival

Sat 21st July

The Electric Theatre


Sun 22nd Jul

Edinburgh Festival Preview All-dayer:

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, Andrew Bird, Jigsaw

Bar One


3rd -27th August

Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Boo-Lingerie, A Socky Horror Show and Family Friendly Show (title tbc)

Gilded Balloon


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Editors for hi res image please contact kevf.sutherland@virgin.net

Thank you



Thursday, April 19, 2012

Gegenstand (the Mumified Magpie)

This video and Lost Not Found:Abscission artwork was created after discovering the mummified remains of a magpie that had probably been discarded after work on a Victorian roof.

Gegenstand (The Magpie Mummy) from Heather Tweed on Vimeo.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Politely asking for something else

   A couple of weeks ago we booked into a hotel in Camden.

The seemingly obsequious booking clerk kept everyone waiting whilst he stared at a screen, with the waved point of a finger,  'Just two minutes' was his cry to each and everyone. He kept two people simply waiting for their room key for the length of two sets of guests booking in, perhaps it was because they held polystyrene food containers? 

He proudly announced that our room was on floor -1 and that it was 'One of my favourite rooms.'

As the lift dropped below ground level I wondered if he was actually preparing us for one of the least good rooms and what the final part of the sentence may have been in his head?

As our heads nearly touched the ceiling the subterranean hallway lead us to one of the final doors which we opened with the Clerks words ringing in our ears. The decor was ok and the room not vast  but it had no windows! Not even in the bathroom. Now we have been in many, many types and quality of accomodation over the years, some very high quality, some quirky, some basement, some pretty ropey but never a room with no windows! Kev called reception and very politely asked if there was a room with windows we could change to.

'Come up to reception and I'll see what I can do.'

Again ' Wait two minutes.' and the gesture. Right from the start we sensed that making an actual complaint or fuss would hold no sway, compliance and a certain polite deference on this mans territory were the only option.

He checked the computer and gave us the keys to a fifth floor room. This time no comments or observations.

We were absolutely delighted on opening the door. A much, much bigger room but the star attraction was the two big picture windows with a vista of the London skyline encompassing everything from the BT Tower to an illuminated St Paul's to The Gherkin to Canary Wharf in the distant background.

Next morning on checkout there were many guests milling round looking unhappy at least and thunderous yet silent at worst. The place was silent. What sway, what aura, what atmosphere emanated from behind that desk, yet only seemingly impeccable and polite, helpful behaviour from the same person!

'How was your stay?' 

'We loved the view!' I couldn't t resist, 'That must be one of your favourite rooms.'

Inscrutable as ever, 'I didn't say anything this time in case you didn't like the new room.'


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Platos Cave

Interactive art exhibition projects can have a life of their own beyond the control of the Artist or Gallerist. No matter how much you plan, describe and explain in words and images what you might be expecting a big element of chance is always present.

At a previous exhibition I had designed an interactive Dream and Nightmare line where participants were invited to draw or write about their dreams and nightmares, these contributions could then be added to the ongoing project. 

The intention was that it would provoke memories of nighttime or at least sleep time images and feelings. I had underestimated how many people actually dream or at least remember their dreams vividly and in fact what appeared was a rather prosaic listing, written or drawn, of visitors aspirations or dreaded situations, often at work. This was of course slewed toward those who didn't mind going public with their inner thoughts and may have excluded those of a more sensitive nature who were not willing or able to share their deepest selves.

Nevertheless it was an interesting project and I have intertwined parts within other projects, inviting contributions on thoughts of Loss in its various aspects for Lost Nt Found:Abscission. 

A more successful interactive project has been 'Plato's Cave' although this also evolved into another strand as explained below.

                                         Instruction poster 'Chapmans Monkey:Artefacts of the Apochryphal'. Solo exhibition, Bristol 2011

Plato's Cave was devised for my recent solo exhibition in Bristol and consisted of a selection of Encyclopaedias and Knowledge books (including a 1970s version of the prophesies of Nostradamus), with instructions on how to interact with this real life Wikipedia. There were plenty of contributions although Interestingly enough this also turned itself into an informal comments book with no prompting from other sources. The instructions can be seen here as well as a small collection of the comments, the only negative comment referred to the lack of a Christmas theme!




 Examples from the visitor lead 'comments book''



Monday, January 9, 2012

A timely message from 1902?

Never mind the current vogue for the 'Keep Calm and Carry on!' slogan, Clevedon in 1902 was made of sterner stuff!

Should we have some t shirts made? Appropriate for Corn Street in Bristol on a Saturday night?